anniversaire
today feels just like any other day except that it shouldn't. it is exactly a year from my first day of coming into the "working world". a year of trying to meet all metrics, waking up in time to log-in and be on auto-in mode, 365 days of being connected to a headset and an avaya.
it all feels so meaningless.
a year of complying to a huge company's calendar. day in and day out. assisting people who don't give a sh*t about who or what i am. a year of being stuck... i know could just quit and go home and i'll still have food to eat, a warm bed to sleep on and decent clothes to wear (not to mention an SUV to ride so i don't have to keep hailing jeeps, buses or taxis..grr!). but if i did that, i'll be forever dependent on my mom. and even with this current job that pays pretty well, i can only consider myself as semi-independent. i mean, all my personal stuff like deos, sanitary pads, lotion, etc still come from mama's grocery of a closet. whenever i'm running out of these things, i don't feel the need to run to cash and carry or shopwise because i know i can get them from our stockroom when i go home. ahhhhh, the freeloader!
i am already a year over two decades old and i still have no friggin' ideahr what i want to bloody do with me life! but i definitely know i DON'T want to do this!!! i don't want to be stuck in this industry that a lot of my contemporaries (naks!) are making a career out of.
i can't. i can't be tied down. i can not follow a timetable that orders me to eat at this time, pee at this time, blow my nose at this given time only... i can not not see the rest of the world!
i am sooooooooo ready to travel, to write, to know cultures all over again. i want to be out there, taking pictures of villages, mountains, town squares, people's faces. i want to know what other people are doing and seeing. i want to start living out my dreams. i may not be able to write a classic novel (notice the word classic and not bestselling?) or get famous or win a Nobel price for being fabulous but i know that i must at least fulfill my (lesser) destiny by experiencing the world.
i want to take my own time, dance to my own music, sing my own tunes, feel with my heart... i want to start now, now, now before i get stuck in this comfortable hell and miss the life i'm suppose to live...................
it all feels so meaningless.
a year of complying to a huge company's calendar. day in and day out. assisting people who don't give a sh*t about who or what i am. a year of being stuck... i know could just quit and go home and i'll still have food to eat, a warm bed to sleep on and decent clothes to wear (not to mention an SUV to ride so i don't have to keep hailing jeeps, buses or taxis..grr!). but if i did that, i'll be forever dependent on my mom. and even with this current job that pays pretty well, i can only consider myself as semi-independent. i mean, all my personal stuff like deos, sanitary pads, lotion, etc still come from mama's grocery of a closet. whenever i'm running out of these things, i don't feel the need to run to cash and carry or shopwise because i know i can get them from our stockroom when i go home. ahhhhh, the freeloader!
i am already a year over two decades old and i still have no friggin' ideahr what i want to bloody do with me life! but i definitely know i DON'T want to do this!!! i don't want to be stuck in this industry that a lot of my contemporaries (naks!) are making a career out of.
i can't. i can't be tied down. i can not follow a timetable that orders me to eat at this time, pee at this time, blow my nose at this given time only... i can not not see the rest of the world!
i am sooooooooo ready to travel, to write, to know cultures all over again. i want to be out there, taking pictures of villages, mountains, town squares, people's faces. i want to know what other people are doing and seeing. i want to start living out my dreams. i may not be able to write a classic novel (notice the word classic and not bestselling?) or get famous or win a Nobel price for being fabulous but i know that i must at least fulfill my (lesser) destiny by experiencing the world.
i want to take my own time, dance to my own music, sing my own tunes, feel with my heart... i want to start now, now, now before i get stuck in this comfortable hell and miss the life i'm suppose to live...................
hi, nice blog!
Posted by
Humour and last laugh |
11:20 PM