Great Expectations
A very good friend of mine revealed that she is three months pregnant. Instead of clapping, congratulating her profusely and making elaborate plans for a baby shower - my initial reaction reflected my sentiments about pregnancy and motherhood - I CRIED.
Yes, I know. When a friend tells you that she is going to have a baby, you are not supposed to bawl your eyes out like it was the most tragic news in the world, you are supposed to drown her in gleeful hugs and start insisting that the little tyke be named after you, for pete's sake!!!
My friend and I go a long way back. We had the same set of friends in college. We were 'pseudo' thesis partners who went around the campus handing out questionnaires. We both worked for the University publication, she as the EIC and I as a section editor.
We still kept in touch after college and were both pleasantly surprised to find that we were working in the same company. Our friendship blossomed when she ended up in the same account I was servicing. Soon, we were not only lunch buddies but, also teammates, 'aux violators' and all around pasaway agents. We shared secrets, dreams and work frustrations. We would rant and rave to each other, we both knew each other's aspirations. We celebrated each other's triumph when we were both promoted almost at the same time.
Her news made me cry because I felt that I was soon going to lose a friend to a seven pound blob of cuteness. Sooner or later, she will no longer be concerned about 'trivial' matters. She will no longer care that wedges are all the rage and high-waisted trousers are once again hot. I'll bet she'll trade her monthly magazine fix of Cosmo to copies of Smart Parenting or Good Housekeeping instead. Gone will be the days when we can just hang-out, have movie marathons and pig out on pizza and gallons of fizzy drinks. Soon, what she will gripe about is the high cost of baby formula and quick-drying diappies!
I guess I cried because I felt that she was not prepared for all of this yet. Yes, a husband and a baby were part of her plans but, not yet. Not-for-a-long-time-yet.
Or am I just confusing my plans with her plans?
Admittedly, knowing that she is pregnant, that she is responsible for another individual may have pushed my panic buttons. It was just so easy to see myself in her place and that was scary! Clearly, I am not yet ready to be responsible for another life.
I had to hug the dear girl for being the brave woman she has become. She confessed that she initially had qualms about the pregnancy but, decided to push through with it. I still have a few months to spend with her before I lose her to the secrets and intricacies of motherhood. In the meantime, we'll be out shopping for trapeze dresses and cute feeding bottles.
Labels: friends, life, motherhood, pregnancy
