JAI-nism: December 2005

Saturday, December 31, 2005

HAPPY NEW YEAR

The first day of a brand new year and it couldn't be more humdrum for me. i spent new year's eve in makati, sleeping and suffocating under two pillows.
You know how Pinoys are so big on firecrackerss or paputok. Once the -ber months come, people will start hoarding and lighting sawa, superlolo, kwitis, bawang and such. As a precaution, I slept on ate evs' bed that faced the concrete wall of our bedroom. I didn't want a stray kwitis or bullet coming at me through the window when people we're in the firecracker frenzy.

Ate evs went back to bats right after her shift on saturday, so i was left to my own devices. I was fast asleep by 8pm but was roused to by thunderous kabooms and bangs. I realized it must be midnight, I sat up and looked at the time on my cellphone to confirm. Indeed it was already some minutes past midnight, so i pulled the covers over my head and dove under my pillows and promptly when back to sleep.
And that is how i spent my new year's eve. Sad, no?

Anyways, lets not dwell on that. Here are pics from our company's Xmas party in Rockwell last Dec.18th

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siksik sa laman: lainey and me...

cheap(tickets) girls...fab are we not?!

Osang, Cynthia,Marion,Laine, me and AM

with abfab trainer rui..luvs it!!!

Happy New Year, peeps!!!!!!!!

Posted by JAI-nism at 12:42 PM | Permalink | Comments

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

updates

i'm really sorry for not having updated in the longest time... things have been a little crazy lately. i guess the numero uno reason for the silent mode is our account's blocking off ALL non work related websites. that included personal mail, friendster and my dear blogger.com.
let's start where i last left off...ate evs' barfday. she wasn't here in makati on her actual birthday but when she came back we had dinner and she treated me to "my sassy girl". i luuuurrrrve that movie. cutesie but somehow it struck me. evs kept on teasing me about it, she said she could see so much of my bossy, brutal, and selfish ways with khryss and how it was always ok with him to be made into an alila by pwincess dayday.

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at work, lainey and i have been accepted to the e-rep recruitment VIP. we render 2 hours work after our regular sched. it was fun at first processing all these piles of resumes and applications. i had a lot of fun making "lait" or "pula". agad na ga ang mga nag sa-submit. now i'm getting kinda bored, but it has been a good experience.

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i had a very rude awakening on my birthday. ate evs was robbed on the 16th. she as waiting for a bus to get to work in the wee hours of the morning when a guy suddenly put an arm around her and asked her to hand over her bag. she promptly refused when five more men surrounded her and threatened to stab her.
tevs, being the brave soul that she is would not give in, the robbers having gotten impatient just grabbed her things and ran off. fortunately, some tanod or police came along and were able to catch five of the guys and retrieve her stuff except for her cellphone. she recounted her ordeal at some police station, at ang lola mo dinemanda ang mga ng holdup sa kanya!
the event was very surreal for me and much like a slap on the face. it suddenly hit me that we were indeed now OUT in the real world where people could harm us. life is now more complicated than which top to buy or which skirt went with which shoes. now i also have to worry about being mugged, raped or stabbed to death in a dark corner of osmeña hiway by some random dooby smoker!?!

Posted by JAI-nism at 9:16 PM | Permalink | Comments

Thursday, December 08, 2005

complicated no more

i can definitely leave now. i think i've seen all that i have to see here. first there was golubovci and now i had to have another chance encounter with you.
laine and i were trying to find where in the Gs we could find pretty gifts for our siblings when i thought i caught a glimpse of you standing in the corner of delifrance. i walked faster to where you were, thinking perhaps it was just another look-a-like, madaming pamhin sa makati, baka si funny man erick pa yung nakita ko.
Lo and behold! who should be standing with you but your ever so faithful pseudo-girlfriend 073 who never aroused you and some other guy.
for a brief moment i debated with myself whether i should acknowledge you or not. i went for the latter, fully knowing we may never see each other again.
is this sign? why am I so big with signs?
well, no matter.
i saw you. you saw me. the universe has once again conspired to make our paths meet. and once again we thwarted destiny by ignoring each other's existence and pretended nothing happened. what white-livered cowards we are!
it will never happen. we will never be able to acknowlege whatever it was, whatever we were, whatever we could have almost been.
i was there, i was listening when S.B. asked you what the deal was. You simply said it was complicated. he asked you point blank if you loved me or not. you kept on with your prattle about the complicated life you lead. you never denied having feelings for me, then again you never admitted it either. it is this non-admission/non-denial that drives me to the edge. why couldn't you just speak your mind?
sometimes i still get butterflies in my stomach when i remember how the four of us ate midnight snacks at the oval. we were finished with the meals and we looked up the unfathomable heavens studded with stars. we looked for cassiopeia in the sky, i can't recall if we found her. you kept on repeating you'd miss me and wanted to go with me to egypt. before i left, you hugged me and brushed your lips against my cheeks right in the middle of the paddy's badminton court. the world froze and shuttlecocks dropped to the floor while everybody stared at us. was this an affirmation of what everybody had suspected all along?
i don't know. will never know. and i am back to where i started all over again.
we will never speak of this. you will go on with your indifference. but i want no more of this. you may keep your silence. i will say this once and then no more of it: i felt like i could fall in love with you. maybe at some point i already had. for a nano second i would have given up the love that i already had if you required it from me. i have always been attracted to you, like a highschool girl in love with her chemistry teacher. you seemed so brilliant, wordly...complicated. but i held off, partly because i didn't want to make a fool of myself and mostly because i still wanted us to be friends.
all this is a lost cause. i'm not sure that we still are friends. don't worry, i've let go now. i no longer need your declaration of undying love. i've grown up and am only too happy with the guy who loves me.

Posted by JAI-nism at 2:05 PM | Permalink | Comments