this week
has been an an eye-opener of sorts.
*** i was inexplicably happy about the prospect of having the undecided within the same zipcode. i was flirting with the thought of having that around, of sharing kodak magic moments and perhaps finally figuring it all out. but technology slapped me on the face and i realized flirting is cheap and kodak prints aren't perfect and they do fade. it is the undecided's way with everyone. and it seems that he shall always be an enigma to our kind.
no more wondering about what it all meant. no more analyzing of words and actions and looks that were given or taken at the time. MOVE ON. from here, i choose to no longer care.***
*** i saw her yesterday. beautiful. secure. happy - looks like it. once again i am struck by insecurity. what am i compared to her? has he completely forgotten her? if they saw each other again, what would it be like for me?i felt regret for them. 7 years all wasted. it took them that long to realize they weren't meant to be or was the circumstance just not right?***
*** i was inexplicably happy about the prospect of having the undecided within the same zipcode. i was flirting with the thought of having that around, of sharing kodak magic moments and perhaps finally figuring it all out. but technology slapped me on the face and i realized flirting is cheap and kodak prints aren't perfect and they do fade. it is the undecided's way with everyone. and it seems that he shall always be an enigma to our kind.
no more wondering about what it all meant. no more analyzing of words and actions and looks that were given or taken at the time. MOVE ON. from here, i choose to no longer care.***
*** i saw her yesterday. beautiful. secure. happy - looks like it. once again i am struck by insecurity. what am i compared to her? has he completely forgotten her? if they saw each other again, what would it be like for me?i felt regret for them. 7 years all wasted. it took them that long to realize they weren't meant to be or was the circumstance just not right?***
*** i am now a regular employee. i feel tied to this job. there are days when i wake up knowing i'm just going thru the motions. day in, day out. nothing is new. am i bored already? 21 and still i don't know what to do with my so-called life.
tonyo, my supervisor has already shown me my last bi-monthly evaluation. my score was OUTSTANDING. it felt good to know i'm doing a swell job, but then again i was never the kind who lived off grades or scores. this is afterall, just statistics and statistics are just numbers. numbers don't interest me at all.***
*** i bought a pen the other day. it was significant because it has been such a long time since i last bought one. i remember how pens had always been a source of fascination for me. we had drafting classes in highschool and this exposed me to so many kinds of pens and pencils. i had the whole collection of hb pencils, tech pens and speedball pens. i thought i was going to pursue art or architecture as a course in college, but my love for words won the day.***
*** i hurt. i need direction. i need to see the world. i need to get back to where the whole saga started. i want to find papa. want to know how everybody in hinobaan is. there are so many things i want to do right now, so many things to address. if only i had the time and most importantly the courage to go back...***
*** i hurt. i need direction. i need to see the world. i need to get back to where the whole saga started. i want to find papa. want to know how everybody in hinobaan is. there are so many things i want to do right now, so many things to address. if only i had the time and most importantly the courage to go back...***
