JAI-nism: October 2004

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

joker of the pack

still reading the solitaire mystery.it's interesting.a more enjoyable reading experience compared to sophie's world.gaardner has this style of waxing philosophically about the world.

A joker is a little fool who is different from everyone else.he's not a club,diamond,heart,or spade.he is an outsider.he is placed in the same pack as the other cards,but he doesn't belong there...he can be removed without anybody missing him.

this line is from the nine of spades chapter and it struck me because there are times when i feel this way.the funny thing is that i couldn't really care whether i belonged to this world or not.i don't think i'm apathetic because there are issues that i'm passionate about,but i couldn't care less if the rest of the world went to crap.i don't mean that in a bad way,it's just that i hate shallowness and duplicity.i like to keep things real otherwise i just count myself out of it.

highschool was the time when i felt most like an outsider.i was different from all the kids in school kasi they knew i just got back from another country.i spoke tagalog but spoke it with a sawit(tama ba yun?).they even thought i was korean or chinese or something of that kind.hirap mag-adjust.but i did my homework,in no time at all i was speaking tagalog like a true batanguena.hehehe...

does that mean the joker of the pack also wants to and tries to fit in?no matter.all i know was that highschool was the time of high drama.i was an angst-ridden,insecure girl.in college,i was the smartypants-fave-of -the- dean bitch all the girls hated.right now i'm just jai trying to become a fulfilled and self-possessed young woman.

Posted by JAI-nism at 5:15 PM | Permalink | Comments

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

last night i did something

that really scared me. i applied as editorial assistant for summit publishing. it was scary because rejection is a tough thing to handle, specially when you get rejected for something you "sorta" (hmp, pahumble!) pride yourself of.
the cosmo stint is a dream job pour moi. it spells out what i want to do in life: travel, research, talk, shop, eat, WRITE...
i hate sitting here. i hate not being able to go out and see places and people. i miss those moments when i see something that makes me wish i had a camera to capture the scene. i miss traveling. i miss bahrain and the sound of the muezzin calling out the moslem prayer during sundown, i miss greece with its pink sand and turquoise water, i miss los banos and its hole in the wall restos. i miss getting motion sickness...
i applied thru jobstreet.com and their system told me that i was underqualified for the job because i did not meet summit's basic requirement of having at least a year's experience in a similar working environment. but i clicked through the tabs and applied anyway. ei, you never know, i might (eensyteensy chance?) get an interview or something. at least i tried and i wont be wondering about it for the rest of my life.
*i'm reading gaardner's the solitaire mystery. i hope i get to understand why it has something to do with the game of solitaire. i only got to know how to play solitaire last year at IRRI. out of boredom, i asked evs to teach me how to play it on the pc. she did, ever so patiently by the way. i'm such a dummy when it comes to playing cards :-)

Posted by JAI-nism at 3:57 PM | Permalink | Comments

Monday, October 18, 2004

in flip-flops always

i'm back in makati again. back to work, back to this polluted atmosphere.
it's kinda funny thinking of myself as someone who is "employed" by a company. you'd never be able to guess it just by looking at my wardrobe.
i'm conquering the call center industry in my faded jeans,baby tee, suede messenger bag and flip-flops. oh,don't get me wrong, i love clothes. it's just that i don't really feel like dressing up right now. who would want to get all dolled up in this heat and humidity anyway? it is really cold once you get to the office, probably a few centigrades below zero-but the problem is the "before getting to the office" part where i have to brave smog belching PUVs and the cruel heat of the city sun.
if there's one thing i love about being here in makati, it's being very close to glorietta and greenbelt. i don't really like going to rockwell because it feels weird going there without being fasyon. it's so great to just go to the Gs as i call 'em. i can window shop, try on clothes, see the latest in cosmetics and skincare at rustans and beauty bar, and just take note of how much i would be spending on my next salary.
ei, that's still two weeks from now...groooooaaaannnn....

Posted by JAI-nism at 5:01 PM | Permalink | Comments

Friday, October 15, 2004

this space is MINE

mine to write my thoughts in.mine to complain and moan about how the day went.mine to be heard.mine to be my SELF in.this is JAI. JAI's thoughts,JAI's life... JAI-nism

Posted by JAI-nism at 6:04 PM | Permalink | Comments