joker of the pack
still reading the solitaire mystery.it's interesting.a more enjoyable reading experience compared to sophie's world.gaardner has this style of waxing philosophically about the world.
A joker is a little fool who is different from everyone else.he's not a club,diamond,heart,or spade.he is an outsider.he is placed in the same pack as the other cards,but he doesn't belong there...he can be removed without anybody missing him.
this line is from the nine of spades chapter and it struck me because there are times when i feel this way.the funny thing is that i couldn't really care whether i belonged to this world or not.i don't think i'm apathetic because there are issues that i'm passionate about,but i couldn't care less if the rest of the world went to crap.i don't mean that in a bad way,it's just that i hate shallowness and duplicity.i like to keep things real otherwise i just count myself out of it.
highschool was the time when i felt most like an outsider.i was different from all the kids in school kasi they knew i just got back from another country.i spoke tagalog but spoke it with a sawit(tama ba yun?).they even thought i was korean or chinese or something of that kind.hirap mag-adjust.but i did my homework,in no time at all i was speaking tagalog like a true batanguena.hehehe...
does that mean the joker of the pack also wants to and tries to fit in?no matter.all i know was that highschool was the time of high drama.i was an angst-ridden,insecure girl.in college,i was the smartypants-fave-of -the- dean bitch all the girls hated.right now i'm just jai trying to become a fulfilled and self-possessed young woman.
